World Philosophy Day - 11/20/2008
Thank god for Reddit. If it weren't for that site, my only source of information would be the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, and New Scientist....and I'd undoubtedly have more time to update this page. Phew, bullet dodged. At any rate, I found out that today was World Philosophy Day on reddit and so I guess I'm obliged to write something heady and contemplative on this site. And you're in luck, cause I've been thinking about something for awhile now that really JERKS MY GHERKIN!
You've probably heard the quote "Why is everything good in life either illegal, immoral, or fattening?" And I'm here to ask, why is it that old adage so true? It's not just a clever and painful observation, it's an actual objective FACT for many of us...and my question is, WHY IS THAT THE CASE?? Sex? Immoral. Don't enjoy it. Engage in only for procreation. . .and never with yourself or some cheap hooker. Food? Eat just enough, don't over indulge, stay away from sugars, carbs, and the foods that taste delicious. They're unhealthy. Alcohol? Drink too much of it, you'll get arrested for a DUI or a bar brawl or slapping your mother around. Drink more than one and you'll suffer from a hangover the likes of which may convince you to stop drinking entirely if it WEREN'T SO MUCH FUN!!! Cocaine? Sweet nectar of life? Illegal, expensive, and it hurts your body (or so they CLAIM!). Punching your boss in the face? Unbridled ecstasy may kill you, and at the very least you'll get arrested. Money? Don't covet it, don't horde it, don't enjoy it, hate it when you don't have it....certainly don't use it as toilet paper. Piracy? Illegal. (who knew!?) Killing your neighbors shrieking wiener dogs and then roasting them on an open fire? Unlawful fun that is oh so worth it. And on and on and on.
Conversely, the things that we hate doing in this world are both necessary for our health, and for our pockets. Most of us have a great deal of contempt for our work, whatever it is we do for a living. Yet we must return day in and day out so that we can keep ourselves comfortable and fed. Working out and dieting are excruciatingly painful and stupid, sapping us of both our time and money....yet in order to look our best, we must keep up our routine of starving ourselves and killing our muscles around steroid-enhanced alpha-males. Improving our mind by learning new facts and ideas takes an innumerable amount of yawn-inducing hours spent reading, studying, memorizing, and listening. And if we want to save our souls from eternal damnation, we have to be NICE to eachother, go to CHURCH on Sunday mornings, and TITHE for the love of God.
My belief is that the best things in life were designed to be bad for you, in one way or another. Yaldaboath and his demonic posse are in control of this world, so naturally they would want us to feel ashamed of the things that bring us the most pleasure. Whether you're fucking an hpoa in the ass or stuffing your face with Turkish Delight, you're going to rue the day you enjoyed yourself when you're swimming in chlamydia and obesity. I want to indulge in the best things life has to offer. I want immediate satisfaction and I don't want to pay for enjoying myself in the end. Is that too much to ask? And I don't want to start hating the things I love just to trick the universe into giving me more of it, and I definitely don't want to start loving the things I DESPISE, because where's the fun in that? My shit job isn't getting my appreciation any time soon, you can bet your sweet ass on that!!
So what can be done to mitigate our shitty situation here on this earth? I think the only way to go about truly enjoying our lives AND ourselves is by toppling the regime. By overthrowing those who've enslaved us!!! Now, I don't know if I mean this literally or figuratively. . . perhaps we just have to change our mind about who's oppressing us and subsequently our social dynamic would fundamentally alter. This in turn would bring about a radical change in the way we approach situations, and thus our own personal experiences would be drastically different. Or maybe it means there's a gigantic matrix out there that we need to unplug from, or there's an ultra-dimensional presence in charge of this world in the form or shape-shifting lizards. Who knows!! I know that EYE have a specific way for escaping this prison and then returning as the Warden or something (I could never invent a clever analogy, leave me alone) but that's not until I DIE. So in the meantime I'm looking forward to this revolution happening here on earth because people have HAD IT with the strange dichotomy of suffering from enjoyment. Alas, you fuckers are too apathetic. Which brings me to another quotable I'll leave you with on this day of insight and intellect.
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
