Wherever I Go... - 3/28/11

A lot of things are happening in my life at an accelerated pace recently.  Tumultuous changes tend to bring about a great deal of stress for most people, and I'm certainly no exception to this...but I realized something.  Though I'm saying farewell to the house I grew up in and have loved my entire life, I do so with an acceptance that belies my outer frustration.  You see, just because the bank is going to repossess my parents house sometime in the near future, I don't have a heavy heart.  Because I know intuitively that the things I love have a way of finding me again.

I miss so many things so much.  People, places, experiences....beautiful , heartfelt memories that I can never forget.  These things comprise the totality of who I am, and while they don't define me.....I feel that I'm all the richer for their presence in my heart.  Yet, what is it to MISS someone or something?  That implies that you can lose them in the first place.  And I know spiritually that this isn't possible.  You can't lose anything, because you are a part of the Infinite, and so one with all creation.  There's no separation between you and Source. "The unity of all is all that is."  So when I say I "miss" something, I'm declaring to myself that I don't have it anymore...and thus feeding myself an extremely potent lie. 

And as with all lies, I believe the ego has an integral role in this process.  In fact, I think the ego is that aspect of us that CREATES the longing to be reunited with whatever it is you miss, so that it can project itself into the past or into an imaginary future.  The ego cannot succumb to the present moment, because it can't survive there for long.  So whatever it is we don't SEEM to have in our lives right now is either recalled with desire in our memories, or fantasized about in a future scenario.  Neither of these brings us closer to the actual experience of it.

But spirit knows better.  It's quite aware of your oneness.  Not only with yourself, your experience of yourself, and your past and future...but with absolutely everything.  You are complete, wholly inseparable from everything you long for.  So missing anything is completely unnecessary.  You can choose to feel these emotions, to allow your ego to hold sway over your thoughts and direct your actions ....but this will only lead to suffering because it takes you out of the present.  Stay alert; remember the vastness of who you are.  Then, in that still quiet moment......you'll no longer feel the pangs of desire, nor the longing for reunion with whatever it is you've lost....because you'll know you can never truly lose anything that belongs to you.

And it all does.