Time and the Ego - 10/27/10

I think the ego and time are intrinsically linked, tied to one another in a dance that would unravel the very foundations of existence if properly understood.  I realize that my obsession with this topic knows no bounds, but I will not rest until I thoroughly explore this concept in countless updates until the end of...well...time.  You see, something I've mentioned in a past entry really hit home with me recently, and that's how all the things we do are really only a means of acquiring more time.  Whether it's more time to spend with our families and loved ones, more time to play, more time to travel the world and take in all of its wonders, to meet new people and open ourselves up to new experiences.....or to extend our lives and push back the inevitability of our death, living on our own terms, with enough time to ENJOY EVERYTHING!  Time is of the essence, and it controls everything we do and every decision we make.

We study, we slave, we toil..and why?  Simply to ensure that we'll have ample time in the future to do what we love.  We sabotage our time NOW for a future time that may or may not ever come.  And all of the reasons we choose to waste our present time at school or work (money, prestige, and power) are but clever façades for what we're REALLY trying to get at.  We want to be rich so we can afford to spend our time however we please.  Money often leads to prestige and power, and both enables us to control the time of others.  Possessions, fortune, glory?  They're nothing more than the ego saying, "I have left my mark on time, and have perpetuated myself into infinity."  Of course all of this is nonsense.  In 120 years, no one will probably even remember you existed.  But the ego is always vying for more time, and I believe at some level it thinks it can master time so that it may avoid the nothingness of death and thus exist indefinitely.

The ego has a vested interest in time, and relies on it to substantiate its dominion over our earthly experiences.  Without time, either thinking about the present, projecting into the future, or reviewing the past...the ego cannot exist.  It takes us out of the moment and into our heads, sabotaging NOW for a transient mental construction that has nothing to do with reality. 

And so, I believe it is the ego that creates time, in order to steal it from us and keep us away from the only time that truly exists, this very moment.  If we were to abolish the concept of time, we would deliver a devastating blow to the ego...and cripple it utterly.  Or perhaps, if we had the power and fortitude to relinquish the control of our ego over our consciousness, we could harness the very fabric of time and move backwards and forwards through it at will.