Promotion - 10/23/2009

While there's never a good excuse for not updating what amounts to little more than a blog for weeks and weeks, I was promoted two weeks ago at I job I disdain with every fiber of my being to an assistant manager in the retail department I work in.  I jumped at the chance merely to use the 15k a year raise to A) get out of debt, 2) save up for my move up north, and D) possibly go back to school.  Well, little did I realize what I was getting myself into....

Management is not fun.  You may look at your managers and say they have it on easy street, that it's good to be the king, that you wish they were in their shoes, etc.  Some of the time that may be true, but it's certainly not the case in retail.  Managers have no free time.  They have to force themselves to leave their stores when it's time to go home, even though they know they should stay, because there is ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO!!!  They are accountable for everything wrong in their department.  They have to delegate responsibility to people they both like and hate, and do so fairly, sternly, and without prejudice.  They have to slave away for 10 more hours than most people work, dealing with batshit crazy customers who have ridiculous expectations that oftentimes you simply cannot meet.  They must take the heat when the "big wigs" come into town, and have their respective departments looking PICTURE PERFECT, or face the consequences.  If one of their peons calls in sick or goes on vacation, they have to work their hours and not complain about it to anyone except, maybe, their fellow managers.  They have to take it up the ass, without lubrication, each and every work day, and sometimes even on their days off as THERE IS NO REST WHEN YOU ARE IN MANAGEMENT!  You always think about your department/store....you always think about whether or not things are going right, if your associates are greeting customers and making the place look nice, if they are cleaning and stocking instead of slacking off, etc.  And much much more.  So is all of this retardation, this migraine-inducing, blood-pressure-raising, going-to-kill-me-if-I-don't-quit frustration REALLY worth a mere 15k more a year?

Of course it is.

Seriously though, no, I'm outta here in...hmm, I've given myself 100 work days to put in for a transfer to ...well, the same place, only up north.  But maybe I'll just bite the bullet and leave my company altogether.  After all, I am adamant in NOT making this my career, no matter how golden they make those handcuffs....and I think that if vocational rehabilitation ever GETS BACK TO ME, I'll jump at the chance to use their services to get me into a job better suited to my talents and strengths rather than my specific weaknesses, which retail seems to hone in on rather precisely.  I just hope my place in line, waiting for vo-rehab to help me out, is coming up quick....cause I gotta tell you, I feel like I am slowly losing my sense of self, my joy, and LIFE, just by selling out like this.   And all this after only 9 days!!
Below you'll find I've played a short rendition of the song "Chances" by Five for Fighting, because...let's face it, chances are I'll stay with this job until it kills me, abandoning my dreams and potential through sheer lack of ambition, courage, and TIME.