Procrasturbation -  2/11/11

I won't mince words, I procrastinate daily.  In fact, I'm kind of ...well, lazy. But I've noticed that, when I need to be, I can get my act together like it was my job to do so.  A sense of urgency is all that's needed for me to cast aside my laziness and become incredibly efficient. 

Here's an example.  I've recently discovered that my manager was transferred to a store closer to where I live.  I've been stuck at a location for about 10 months now that's 25 miles away from my house and, instead of looking for stores closer to where I live, I've stayed with my present scenario out of affection for my manager and sheer laziness.  But, upon hearing of his transfer, I immediately visited 2 stores near my house and called up 2 others in desperate attempt to leave my ship before it's completely sunk.  Also, my car has been falling apart bit by bit for the last 2 years.  The air just went and that hasn't prompted me to start shopping for a new or used vehicle, but you know what did?  The fact that I just found out that the JERKING in my car, from 1st to 2nd gear, is a result of my transmission and will certainly need a grand or two in repairs.  That got my attention and so for the last week I've been going through the whole rigmarole of visiting dealerships and looking for sales online, whereas just half a month ago I couldn't be bother to even google used cars in my area!

And don't get me started on my job situation itself.  I've disliked working in retail for the last 14 years more than just about anything in existence, but have I taken any steps to leave my career in that period of time?  Not really.  I've had the opportunity to return to school for almost a year now, but I've only JUST taken steps to ensure my return to higher education now that I'm mere months away from being without a home.

What is with this relentless force of procrastination that seems to overwhelm me everyday of my life?  It's like the old saying, "Procrastination is like masturbation....it's fun while it lasts, but in the end you're just screwing yourself."  I realize, both in hindsight and in the process of doing it, that procrastination doesn't serve me at all....but I simply cannot muster up the motivation to effectively change something in my life that needs changing UNLESS there's an impetus for such a mentality.

There needs to be a time-frame, a ticking of the proverbial clock, to propel me into action.  It feels like there's a certain power that's created by procrastinating, a palpable energy that can make things happen if you wait long enough for it to culminate to a breaking point.  Then, like the crest of a wave, you can ride that immense force towards whatever goal you wish to achieve.  But, more often than not, you'll simply wait too long and crash and burn (or fall off your surf board, help me out with this analogy...I'm no surfer!) 

It takes great skill and awareness to know WHEN to use procrastination to assist you and when to simply do what needs to be done in a timely manner.  I have yet to fine-tune that ability, as procrastination usually ends up biting me in the butt....but when it does work in my favor, I don't feel like I've wasted any time beforehand.  Actually, I feel vindicated for allowing my laziness to make the decisions, because it all worked out in the end.  The REAR end.