On Working Out - 9/10/09
There are only two types of people who work out at the gym. Those that should, and those that shouldn't. However, the categories are far more detailed than just that, and I'll expand upon my theory now. Those that should work out are your average everyday guy or gal who just want to feel good and get in shape. Some are thin and gangly, others slightly overweight, some may be older and hoping to rejuvenate their vitality, and others disabled who need to focus on rebuilding muscle tissue, and then of course there's all of those meat-heads who earned their KILLER BODIES through rigorous workouts and by paying attention to their diet. Most people should exercise, I won't dispute that...but often, at the gym, you find people who should, under no circumstance, be paying gym fees in the first place. And the gym has an over-abundance of THESE people, which is something I truly don't understand.
The people that shouldn't work out at the gym are numerous indeed, and consist of your obese, elderly, ugly, AND your hpoa's who have no business being seen at a gym. Allow me to elaborate.
The fatties, they baffle me. Most obese people can run on a treadmill until they pass out; they're not gonna lose any weight, or at least ...not much, and when they do, they'll invariably gain it right back a few weeks later. I truly believe genetics plays an important role in determining your metabolism, and unfortunately...those people who are grossly overweight shouldn't waste their time and money on going to the gym when they could be enjoying their lives sitting at home watching TV and eating donuts. Maybe you think I'm being a patronizing asshole, but I'm being serious. No one ENJOYS exercising, (although most of us enjoy the clarity of mind and the rush of endorphins we feel afterwards)...but I've never once heard a fat person tell me they're glad they worked out, or happy to have forced themselves to kick their ass for meager results. And I know several that I talk to at my gym too. Sure, they're proud of themselves... the psychological boost it gives to their ego is certainly gratifying, but that's also probably mitigated by the fact that everyone is disgusted by seeing their sweaty, fat ass work it on the Elliptical. Their obvious embarrassment should curtail any motivation or incentive for reward. So, why should they suffer for a result they'll NEVER SEE?? Get outta here, go. . .enjoy your lives, and forget about unattainable goals.
Speaking of, this applies to all 50+ year olds I see sweating balls trying to recapture their youth. I'm talking about the ladies who you could tell were pretty hot 30 years ago but are now sagging wrinkled shells of what they once were. These women really slave away, desperately attempting to feel young again or look sexy, but all they end up doing is making us young guys laugh and feel sorry for 'em after they break their ankle or hip-bone by trying to pull off maneuvers they never even attempted back when they were CAPABLE of pulling them off. These women are no doubt great in bed, if you close your eyes really tight and shrink wrap your dick with cooking oil, but I really don't see why they're spending time at the gym when they could be back at home watching Murder She Wrote and knitting. Give it up grams, your hey-day was about four decades ago.
Then there's your uglies, ugos, ug ugs, . . .ya know, UNATTRACTIVE people. I'm not even talking about plain or ordinary men and women, that's the majority of people in the world and they're included in my first category. I'm talking about the butt-ugly pieces of gutter filth that somehow have deluded themselves into believing that, if they only work out their body, their face will change appearance too. Well, I hate to break it to you folks, but no amount of weight-lifting or cardio fitness will ever make an ugly person attractive. Only cosmetic surgery and/or alcohol will do that. Invest your time in your education, create or market something unique and revolutionary, make billions, and attract your desired mates with THAT. Sorry ya'll, but that's basically the only road you've got cut out for ya. That or suicide.
And finally there's your hpoa's, or hot pieces of ass. These are the women who were born slim and beautiful. Who have perfect bodies, exquisite legs, perky breasts, and gorgeous faces. They're self-obsessed snobs, no doubt, but they're also ridiculous because they work for something that comes naturally to them. Hey, if I inherited a wealthy estate, you can bet your ass I wouldn't be working a grueling 9-5 job to pay for rent. So why do hpoa's try so hard to achieve something THEY ALREADY HAVE?? Maybe it's all ego, and they just like to flaunt their bodies whilst jazzercizing, or stretching, or working their abs, or glutes, or WHATEVER....as no matter what exercise they perform it's all incredibly flattering for them. So yah, either it's all about showing off or these girls really have NO IDEA that they could sit at home all day, read their Readers Digest, watch their soaps, and eat their Melba Toast and still retain their perfect proportions because they were simply BUILT that way! But please, don't anyone tell them about this if they don't already know...they're basically why I even GO!
