Are You Kidding Me, People!? - June 18, 2008

At work, people have a strange habit of annoying the living hell out of me each and every day.  The number of things they do that classifies as borderline retarded is innumerable.  However, there's a few things in particular that really get my goat!  

For instance, say I'm putting up bananas and there's a whole fucking end-cap full of them, right?  They'll go for the bananas I JUST put down, as opposed to the 1400 other bananas that are already up there, closer to them, and not directly in front of me.  You have no idea.  The wanton disregard for my own personal space is baffling.  It's like they think I'm an inanimate object.  They'll just push me out of their way with their grocery carts or their fat-ass asses.  Never once do I hear them utter the words "excuse me", and if they do it's a barely audible grunt.

Then there's the questions, the ridiculous. .inane questions that never ever need to be asked, provided they have the ability to walk a few feet or open their eyes.  I've created a rap video where I came up with the lyrics "If you have eyes and you can see, than why your bitch-ass bothering me?  If you can't see than I'll assist, but if you can see than I'll be pissed."  It goes on in that fashion for awhile, and I'll put it up on youtube eventually...when I get a video editor working on linux.  But yah, my basic point is that a good 97% of the questions people ask me could easily be answered by themselves if they took 10 seconds to look, or walk around the corner.  For someone who has difficulties speaking, it's absolutely infuriating!

Then there's the salad case.  Hooo boy, besides the bananas.....bag salads sell quicker than anything in our department.  So, filling that case up repeatedly throughout the day is a chore ...seeing as how six or more people are always in front of that 8 foot long area.  But whatever, I don't care about that... our department is constantly filled with people two inches away from one another, it's jam-PACKED, and I've had to learn to make my peace with that.  What I can't tolerate, however, is how people will stand looking at the bag salads for FIVE OR MORE MINUTES, silently deliberating with themselves about what brand they want, etc.  There are maybe, I dunno, a dozen brands of salad in the case....either in Dole, Fresh Express, or our companies variety.  This being so, there is positively no excuse for taking longer than sixty seconds to make your decision, grab your salad, and be on your merry-freaking-way.  My God people, it's not like it's a life-altering decision...most of them taste EXACTLY THE SAME, your basic choices are do you want leafy lettuce, spring lettuce, romaine, or spinach?  It can't possibly take you more than a few seconds to choose unless, of course, you're DELIBERATELY taking your sweet time to keep me from stocking the shelves because you like making me SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There's more, but I'm going to bed now.  F-working in retail.  This song should've been with my Office review, but since I haven't gotten around to writing it yet...I've played it here, cause I'm basically ranting about the office EYE work in.

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Why Dad, Why??  - June 15, 2008

While it's true that I adore my father more than any other man on earth, I find that he has a certain brand of infectious negativity that rather annoys me.  Whenever we watch a game show together, or talk about anybody winning ANYTHING, he will always go into a tirade about how that person has to pay an egregious amount of taxes on whatever they've won, be it a new car, or the lottery, etc.  In fact, he'll make it seem like it's more of a hassle than it's worth to win anything.  What a crock of ASS!!  I repeatedly tell him, look dad.. .yah, you have to pay taxes on 20 million dollars, and that will probably leave you with around 13 million at the end of the day...but guess what!?  THAT'S THIRTEEN MILLION DOLLARS YOU DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

God almighty, why does he have to temper every good thing with the caustic, cynical mentality of someone who's never won anything or had anything good happen to him in his life?  I KNOW he has, his life has been incredibly interesting and he's one of the wisest men I know.  Argh, anyway ...<end rant./>  

In honor of my dad on father's day, and in light of his present situation (he's out of a job and desperately in need of one), I've played Rescued by Jack's Mannequin, cause if anyone ever needed rescuing....my dad truly does at the moment.   

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Thanks A Lot, Georgey Boy - June 13, 2008
I just received my economic stimulus check for 600 bucks and while I certainly need it to pay off my debt, I'm going to do the retarded thing and use most of it for scratch off tickets...cause why the hell not?  I'll turn 300 dollars into a few THOUSAND, and then I'll really be able to pay off my debt and move!  This is the plan, don't try and bring logic into the discussion, you'll only hurt my feelings.

You know, George W. Bush is a lot like an abusive uncle who anal-rapes you without lubrication, only to take you out for icecream after he's done.   Sure, the icecream is tasty but.....was it really worth keeping your mouth shut for?  Need I point out the cost of gas, or the economic crisis our country is facing, or the unending war/occupation in Iraq, or the mortgage crisis, or the rapid increase in unemployment, or the cost of LIVING?  Has he done ANYTHING to help this country in the 8 years he's been president?  Besides tax cuts for the super rich, and of course two government rebate checks (remember the one back in 2003?) for a few hundred dollars.  Which is seriously like trying to put a band-aid on a severed torso.  Nothing short of his impeachment six years ago will mitigate my hatred for this man, and that is why I am going to waste the money he's giving me on the most ridiculous thing I can think of.  

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I'm Blogging About Dreams....Again - June 12, 2008
And I will continue to do so until I UNDERSTAND THEM!!!  What are dreams, truly?  If it's just your mind using the toilet, as my father suggests...than why does everything appear so real and interesting, no matter how asinine it seems in retrospect?  Furthermore, why do dreams feel somehow significant, if it's all just random, arbitrary electric impulses firing in the brain?

If dreams really have no innate meaning, other than the one you give them, why does it feel like something or someone is trying to TELL ME SOMETHING through my dreams?  It baffles me, it always has, and until some respected scientist or philosopher can explain dreams to me in a way that completely satisfies my craving for SPIRITUAL TRUTH, I'll continue yelling to you guys about them on here.




Man, WTF am I Masturbating to?? - June 11, 2008
When I'm in the mood to cum to hardcore pornography, I often tend to get off to freaksofcock or fuckedupfacials.  Google them if you're a perverted, or at all mildly curious.  (You know you are).  In any event, these facial videos are insane...as in, utterly impossible and inconceivable.  There's no way guys have dicks this big (okay, maybe the BLACK guy actually does)...but that doesn't really bother me cause it's at least PLAUSIBLE.  But the cumshots...no, just ...no.  There SIMPLY CANNOT be that much cum inside of a man's testicles.  There's no way, no matter what vitamins you're taking or how much vanilla nesquick you drink.  

But for some reason, even though I know in my gut these are fake cumshots....seeing a girl's pretty face get covered in what I can only assume is a semen-like cream-based substitute is the very definition of hot.  I would very much LIKE this shit to be real, cause the possibility of it somehow being an elaborate ruse makes me deflated quicker than thinking about my mother using the restroom, BUT I can suspend my disbelief long enough to ejaculate baby, and that's just long enough for FUN!

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Hangover's, and Why I don't Miss Getting Drunk - June 9, 2008
I went out drinking last night in Orlando with my friend Josh and his girlfriend Whitey...err, Whitney.  We went to this bar called....umm, yah.  Who knows.  But Sunday nights there's this Rockstar Kareoke event that they have going on where you can sing kareoke while a live band plays the song you chose.  It's insanely loud.  I had to wear ear plugs just to get the music down to a deafening roar.  Josh sang a Pearl Jam cover and he did an admirable job of it; that boy needs to get Unsung Zeros back together, I'm telling ya.  

I got drunk, of course....and it was my first time doing so in two months or so.  It was pointless, as it always is.  We all drank 2 dollar PBR's, or Pabst Blue Ribbon.  It tastes like urine after a gallon of stale water is mixed into it.  I blacked out most of the night, Whitney got sick, and we made it home around 2'ish.  I think.  Today I've spent the day recooperating.  I slept till 2 in the afternoon, because it's a rainy day and I had hoped to sleep off my hangover...but alas, such is not the case.  I haven't had anything to eat all day and yet I can't stop vomitting NOTHING.  It's disgusting.  I would love to be able to drink in moderation, sometimes I can...I did with you two in Milwuakee as you know, but I guess that's because I'm COMFORTABLE around you guys, and I'm so not in my element in a crowded bar, hence why I drank myself into retardation.  Still, I feel I'm a lot stronger than I used to be in regards to drinking (the dui had SOME positive impact on my life) and I'm not gonna get wasted again for a good long while.  I PROMISE!


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The Start of Something New  - June 8, 2008
So, two weeks go by without a blog, and I got ANTSY.  I actually missed writing on an online journal, even if I seldom updated when I had one.  Still, I've come to the conclusion that my other review site just doesn't fulfill my creative desires completely.  Thus, I purchased this domain and will continue writing about my non-existent life here.  What I hope to do here is play songs to accompany each post, and most of them will be simple melodies that I've created, though occasionally I will play a song that you may have heard of.

At any rate, while my MoPH typepad account portended otherwise, I will readily admit that this page is a BLOG, and I will treat it as such.  I'll say whatever's on my mind, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED, because I've basically created this page for three people, and I think you know who you are.  So yah, check back often cause you know my life is just that exciting.


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