Food for Thought - 8/31/11
As a Gnostic Christian, I am going to go off on a bit of a tangent here involving esoteric words such as archons, Yaldabaoth, the Demiurge, etc...but realize that all of these terms are merely indicative of the Powers that Be, and if you want to think of this update in practical terms, than these words would ultimately all be pointing to the ego and its control over our thinking.
I am not a depressed individual. Some days I may feel slightly more glum than others, but I think this is true for all of us. However, every morning at work I seem to wrestle with my thoughts much more than at any other point in the day. In the early morning, there's usually an inner struggle to not think about loss, the things I feel guilty about, mistakes I've made, and the decisions I regret. It's always a losing battle as well, because one thought will pile on top of a previous one and eventually I am overwhelmed with sadness and despair.
This is unlike me, it goes against my character...and I've often wondered why I suffer through this almost every morning. Why do the archons insist on ruining the start of my day by bringing up all of this grief? The hurt and anguish I feel at the reminder of certain things I've experienced seldom arises for no good reason, and yet come sunrise....there it is. Ruminating in my head for no real purpose other than to make me regret getting out of bed.
Well, I think the Demiurge and his servants quite literally feed off of the negative energies of this world. All of the suffering that exists, and that is seemingly perpetuated on a constant basis, is a source of fuel for them. They need this energy to survive, and just as we must eat our breakfast every morning to get enough energy to tackle the day, so too do these beings need our negative energy to comprise their own breakfast. And the easiest way for them to facilitate a huge meal is to remind us of those things that hurt the most. To galvanize our memory into recalling past pain or recent events that bothered or disturbed us, and then replay them over and over again in our head so that the energy we create through shame and regret will literally become food for their consumption.
Perhaps none of this is true, and Yaldabaoth doesn't exist. I'm fine with this, because this theory can also apply to the ego. The ego may take great affront to being awoken so early in the morning, so in retaliation it brings to mind unpleasant memories and events in order to punish us for our temerity of waking the sleeping giant.
Or maybe it just demands to be heard, it cries out for our attention...and the easiest way for it to get this is to make us think about things that make us feel pain and sorrow. Then we're reminded of who's in charge, because the ego shows us at the drop of a dime it can take control of both the way we think and, more importantly, the way we feel.
Obviously, the only logical solution is to starve the Demiurge/archons/ego by simply ignoring these thoughts. It's too much effort to try and CHANGE your thinking, and besides....their jurisdiction lies within the mind, so it's best to avoid thinking altogether. Because when you focus on memories, whether hurtful or beautiful, you're taking yourself out of the moment, and that's the ONE place where you have complete reign. The future, with its uncertainty and potential, is also the domain of the Demiurge....because it's not real, it's not now, and so it DOESN'T EXIST. They would like you to believe it does, to live within your memories or by projecting yourself into some future moment of happiness, fulfilment, and bliss, because as long as you're not living in the present you are feeding them the fuel they need to survive.
But being fully immersed in the present moment is easier said than done. I'm still not sure how to do it, asides from the immediacy of sex, the thrill of adventure, and the aid of certain stimulants and/or depressants to quiet the incessant voice of the ego, if only for a little while. I'm sure that meditation is an essential tool for awakening to the present, as is exercise, but I seldom have the time or patience for either.
I find that a quick, easy solution for stilling your thoughts is by focusing on your breathing, or on the activity with which you're presently engaged. Inject concentration and enthusiasm into whatever it is you're doing, because that narrows your attention to what's happening now. In doing so, you will deprive the archons of their food by denying them control of your mind; thus reclaiming the authority that has been usurped from you.
