Dream On - 3/13/2011

I have so much I want to accomplish.  I have a passion for learning, for travelling, for experiencing new things and meeting new and interesting people.   I want to create more, write more, play more music, and imagine more elaborate scenarios for my novel.  And yet, I'm perpetually exhausted.  I can barely muster up enough energy to write about wanting to do these things on my blog, let alone find the motivation to get them done in my life.  I'm always so tired, I'm almost lethargic.  And so I nap.  I sleep.  And I dream.   But to what end?

I often feel like I'm wasting time, my most valuable commodity, every time I take a nap or turn in early for the evening.  But perhaps not.  Maybe something is going on that I'm not aware of.  That I'm reserving my energy for a significant paradigm shift that's quickly approaching, and without these naps and hours of sleep, I would be woefully unprepared to deal with the great changes on a spiritual level.  

You see, I truly believe that your spirit, moreso than your physical and mental bodies, is rejuvenated during sleep-time.  It simply must escape from the "materia", or the material world, for a period of time every day so it can reunite with the freedom and ecstasy it feels in vibrations of less density.  It needs this time in the Pleroma (or fullness) in order to experience itself as it truly is.  Maybe by sleeping our spirits aren't just in a reprieve from the hardships of living in human embodiments; rather....they are busy at work.  They're active, learning, helping, and planning for what's ahead.  They're ACCOMPLISHING a great deal, more than we can ever truly know with our present level of awareness, and so no time is ever LOST when we sleep.  Quite the contrary, our spirits may be engaged in a vast number of processes that are absolutely integral for our own personal development.  Much like in the Kingdom of Zeal, in the classic SNES game Chrono Trigger.  The floating island above the clouds was ruled over by a power-hungry megalomaniac named Queen Zeal.  But its' people understood how to harness the powers of magic to better their lives.  In fact, since magic provided their way of life with such effortless luxury, they spent most of their time in bed sleeping.  There they embarked on a journey of self-discovery, for they believed that the truth of their reality could eventually be found in the dream-state.  To me, this sounds extraordinarily familiar.....like something I know deep down as being true, or something I've experienced before in another life.

Or, on a more sinister note, maybe those of us who lack the energy to get out there and change things are under some sort of spell, or bewitchment.  Like the Powers that Be don't want us active and energetic because if we were we'd get things done and start helping the world in a huge way.....which is exactly what their nefarious agendas DON'T want. 

Or, if you're not insane, maybe we're all just overwhelmed with fear, stress, and existential ennui and this inevitably takes a toll on our faculties.

In any event, I suppose I merely want to find an excuse for my laziness; to discern a reason as to why I'd rather waste my time dreaming than actively trying to better my life, or the lives of others.  To quote the song 'Keep Breathing' by Ingrid Michaelson, "I want to change the world......instead I sleep."